This is a rant from me to you.
You know, as individuals identifying as being a part of the queer community we often like to advocate that we don’t hold prejudgements of others, because we run into that lived experience on a daily basis where others will judge us, our behaviours and our lifestyles on the basis of sexuality.
But I can’t tell you how many times people have assumed certain things of me and my behaviour or my personality because of my appearance, and those people being a part of the queer community themselves.
I can’t tell you how often I hear “only dates femmes” or “only dates studs.” Or someone asks if you’re more a femme or a stud, or what have you.
This bothers me a lot.
We body police our own and stereotype based on appearance, and it kinda hurts you know? That’s the kind of stuff we know so much about, and are so well aware of how that stuff can hurt.
I’m neither a stud or a femme, In fact, I don’t really consider myself anything on that spectrum of trying to place yourself in some image. I mean, sometimes I like baggy clothing and sometimes I like dressing up, sometimes I appear femme and sometimes I appear tomboyish, and sometimes I’m neither of those things…
But that stuff shouldn’t even matter.
We talk of being divided, we talk of the pain that results from being isolated for being who we are, yet in trying to come together as a community to heal together and find solidarity, we perpetuate the same kind of violences and divide ourselves from one another.
And besides all of that stuff, I’m still all me. I’m still the same silly, sarcastic, cynical person that I am with/without hair or clothing or makeup.